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From The Pastor

September 27, 2019 by Rev. John Hartman

From the Pastor

“Gridiron Glossary”

This past Tuesday (September 23) marked the beginning of Fall or Autumn. Even though the weather has been a bit warm, it also means that Summer is now officially over. It is a very pretty time of the year, especially here in Pennsylvania, as the leaves turn, and we see the brilliance of their colors. There is a crisp feel in the air, as the temperature continues to drop. However, when I think of the Fall, I can’t help but think of Football. And now, that there is reason for this particular Giant’s fan to have some hope again, and hold his head even just a bit higher, the reality is that Football and our Christian faith actually have a connection. For example, this month we “kick-off” many of our ministries, Sunday School, Preschool, Youth Groups, Wednesday Night Alive just to name a few.

And so, I thought it would be helpful to translate some of the various things that occur in the church into familiar football phrases. Although this is just a small sampling, and by no means the best theologically, I hope they will help initiate the football fan into the complexities of church life. Just think of it as your very own “Gridiron Glossary.”

“Blocking” – Talking endlessly to the pastor at the church door and keeping everyone else from exiting.

“Draft Choice” – The decision to sit close to window.

“End Around” – Diaper-changing time in the Nursery.

“Face Mask” – Smiling and saying everything is fine when it isn’t.

“Illegal Use of Hands” – Clapping at an inappropriate point in the service (for Presbyterians, that would be at any time).

“In the Pocket” – Where some church members keep their offering.

“Quarterback” – What tightwads want after putting fifty cents in the offering plate.

“Running Backs” – Those who make repeated trips to the bathroom.

“Two Minute Warning” – During the sermon, the people look at their watches.

As we continue through this Fall season, may all of you continue your quest to reach the “End Zone” as we walk with Jesus Christ day by day.

Pastor John

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Quote of the Week

“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.” John Donne

John Donne was an English poet and cleric in the Church of England. He is considered the pre-eminent representative of the metaphysical poets.